Let’s be honest. Becoming a mother puts you in a whole new zone. You’re not the carefree lady you once were. There’s a whole other set of responsibilities on your plate now. You don’t go to happy hour every week and most of the time you don’t want to. In your eyes, that happy hour has been happily replaced with something far more engaging and worthwhile. Our kids fill that space and we happily let them. We get into setting up playdates for them and taking them to every park we can find. The kids social calendar is what yours used to look like. At some point we start to feel like we might be getting lost in all of this. Our kids are making new friends and engaging and building their social circle but we’re not. The friends we had pre-baby may still be around but if they don’t have kids too, it can be a challenge. So what’s a mom to do? It’s a pretty simple solution. Mama, you need a tribe – a mom squad. You need to find and friend your people.
It’s what I set out to do when I started my mommy blog back in 2011. I was a first time mom. My closest friends weren’t having babies. I needed to connect with other women who understood my exhaustion and engorged boobs. My friends without kids wanted to get it, but motherhood is one of those things you don’t get until you live it. Can’t blame them. Once I started connecting with other moms online, that led to offline connections as well. Truthfully, these women became my saving grace. I didn’t have to walk through motherhood solo. Sure, my husband was by my side but his body didn’t make the same transformation so to speak. That made our parenthood experiences a bit different. Right?
Looking back, I totally understand why I needed my mama squad. Here’s a few reasons having a mommy crew is a must!
1 She’s going through the same things you are
There’s nothing like another mama to go through all the mommy stuff with. Like I said before, my non-mommy friends weren’t interested in my sore, engorged boobs and had no idea what to tell me to soothe them. They didn’t understand why it was so hard for me to get out of the house. Other moms just get it. They’re in the same spot.
2 She’ll help you get out and do stuff. Because she needs to do it too!
It’s just easier to coordinate getting out with another mama. First, she needs to get out too – so she’s game. Second, she knows that it’s going to be a full on effort because of naps or feeding times and all the other things that come with kids. Because of that, she’s less likely to be frustrated with all the coordinating you have to do to make it happen.
3 You’re learning this mama thing together – can you say judgement free zone
When you’re a new mom this is especially true. But even when kids are a bit older, like mine, it’s still great to have someone around who’s is learning along the way too. It kind of creates a judgement free zone because you’re figuring out this mom thing together.
4 She’s not your mom
So about that judgement free zone. Sometimes our moms have their own opinions about how we should be doing things with out kids. You know, because they raised us. It can be hard for our moms to let us do mommy hood our way. Every now and then some judgement can slip through because we do things differently. That’s another reason why the tribe comes in handy.
5 Built in friends for your kids
If the mamas are friends, it’s sometimes easier for kids to be friends too. Moms I met when our kids were infants are still friends to this day. My kids are 4 and nearly 7 and they have friends they’ve known their whole lives because I’m friends with their moms. It’s a really special bond.
Have you built a mom squad? How did you meet? How has it helped your motherhood journey?