Is it crazy that I want to be in a reality show? Not one for television. I just want to have one for my own personal use. Here’s the reason. I feel like it’s hitting me more and more that my babies are growing up way too fast. I don’t want to forget a moment of their childhood. I’m not even talking about the big milestones. I’m talking about the way my daughter’s ‘R” sounds like “W”. So she says “Fwozen” and “Gwanny”. It’s too cute. I don’t want to forget what that sounds like. Or how my son gets so concerned when his baby sister is upset and offers her a toy to “feel her better”.
There are all of these moments I want to keep. I want to be able to replay them because I know as time goes on I won’t remember every single thing. And I want to remember every single thing. I love how much they still want to snuggle with me. I love how their little hands feel clutching mine. I love how my daughter plays at the park and randomly stops to say “Mommy, I love you in my heart.”
I pray that my babies will stay as close to me as I am to my own mom. There’s never been a time that we weren’t close. I want that with my own babies.
To make up for my not having a reality crew following our every moment, I tend to take a million pictures and videos of them. I take so many pictures that they request them. I need to get a bit more sly with my moment capturing obsession.
I’m pretty sure this is why people keep having babies. You watch your kids grow up before your eyes. You begin to realize that time does move way too fast. The next thing you know, there’s another baby on the way. I’m not there. I don’t feel the need to grow our family. I just really want to enjoy each moment with my babies. I want to make sure I’m present for the big ones and the small ones. They are awesome little people. Watching them learn and grow and figure things out does my heart all kinds of good. Even though I can’t capture every moment, I am making a point to live every moment – eyes and heart wide open.