A friend came to visit me and the bambina recently. We were talking and she told me about this incident. Someone she knows had an issue with breast feeding. Let me explain.

The issue was the lady had left her home and left her friend there with the her baby. I guess she didn’t think she’d be gone long enough to miss a feeding. Well, it seems she did. Her baby was hungry while she was gone. Her friend was lactating and decided to nurse the baby herself. Picture it, the baby is crying, the baby’s mom is gone. You’re not sure when she’ll be back but the baby is wailing and obviously hungry. You figure, well I am lactating, let me help this baby out. No?

Well, when her friend returned she wasn’t pleased. She (probably sternly)asked her not to do it again. I can imagine how she may have felt. I mean, it’s another woman’s boob in your child’s mouth. Someone else’s milk. At the same time I can put myself in the other woman’s shoes. She’s there watching a baby for a friend and she decided to help a hungry baby. I don’t know if she called the mom to see how much longer she would be or anything. I’m just guessing she did what she thought was best.

What do you think? Was she wrong? Would you nurse someone else’s child?

26 comments on “Boobs & Someone Else’s Baby”

  1. Such a hard call. I don’t know if I would feed someone’s child without their permission, but I always ask if you have enough food in case the child gets hungry.

    I get why the mom was upset, but being in the shoes of the other mother, she didn’t want that child going hungry. We all know how hard babies can cry when they are hungry.
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  2. Was there no other meal to give her?! That just seems wrong to me even though it was the right thing to do!! That’s a toughy!!

  3. Was the phone working? She definitely could have made a quick phone call to get permission for something like that. But on the other hand, if mom left for what she thought would only be a short amount of time, AND didnt leave any bottles/food/formula, AND was out of touch, then I dont blame the friend for what she did. And the mom shouldnt either.
    K. Rock recently posted…Helping handMy Profile

  4. Ummm No and No! I would not even think to put my breast in another babies mouth! Not even my best friend. That is …. just not right. I am sure she had good intentions but ummmm that’s no bueno. My mother in law once told me that HER mother in law was watching my husband while she was gone somewhere and he wouldn’t stop crying so she popped her breast him his mouth to shut him up! WTWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

  5. I get that she wanted to help, but that is NOT okay. I think she should have got in touch with the mom for other options. I would have been very upset……just my 2 cent.

  6. Hmmmm. She should have called the mom first and let her know. Let the mom decide. It’s not unsanitary or anything. Many moms who are unable to breast feed give their babies donated milk. Is it the act of putting a breast that is not the mom’s in the baby’s mouth that is the problem? Why? There have been women who are wet nurses Since the beginning of time. I’m just playing devil’s advocate. The nurse in me has to. 🙂
    Roses Daughter recently posted…Friday Afternoon ThoughtsMy Profile

    • I totally get what you’re saying. You make perfect sense. For me personally, I think that it crosses a boundary of parenting, privacy & my “personal space.” If that makes any sense.

      I would have appreciated a phone call first.

      Now, if the mom didn’t answer her phone after many, MANY tries…then maybe that makes it fair game. I don’t know, even then, I don’t think I would have been happy.
      Kate recently posted…All Things Pumpkin (and Halloween!)My Profile

  7. I guess it all depends on the mother’s proximity to the house. It’s not something that I would prefer, but if I wasn’t close to home and didn’t leave any milk, I wouldn’t want my child to be hungry. I also wouldn’t want to subject my friend to the cries and screams of a hungry child. The next time I’d be sure to leave milk or take my child with me.
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  8. I’m going to take guess that maybe she tried to reach the mom but couldn’t get an answer. If that’s the case, I don’t think she did anything wrong. I know it grosses some people out but honestly, if I trusted my friend enough to leave them with my child and I didn’t leave any milk or have any formula then it’s pretty much common sense they’re not going to let my child go hungry.

    I think the mom actually put the friend in a difficult position. She should have never left her baby without leaving milk. And since she was breastfeeding the friend probably didn’t want to leave to go get formula because some moms will go straight ape on you for giving their kids formula. Not to mention a lot of babies now days have milk allergies and plus, formula is too high to be wasting money on getting it for just one bottle when it’s not your kid.

    I could only hope that if I left my baby with a friend who was breastfeeding as well she would do what she had to do.
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  9. Awww man like all the other moms said that’s a tough one. As a mother I wouldn’t leave my child without something to eat even if it was just for a few minutes. I would have also fed my child before leaving that way my baby is satisfied while I am out and give my boobs an opportunity to fill back up for the next feeding. I don’t think she was completely wrong for feeding the baby, but I hope that she at least tried to call (numerous times) the mother before feeding the baby.

  10. My gut reaction to reading this is, I’d probably be really ticked/grossed out/flabbergasted/weirded out if another breastfeeding mom fed my kid.

    I always have my phone on me when I leave the kids with a sitter, so I would expect a phone call telling me the baby is hungry & to come home. (That has happened before, lots of times.)

    And, if I were the other mom in the situation (I have several friends nursing right now) I would have NEVER fed their baby. That would cross some major boundaries for me. Breastfeeding is private & personal for me.

    Good post Cam, that really got me thinking! I’m probably going to be thinking about it all day & see if my initial reaction was wrong!
    Kate recently posted…All Things Pumpkin (and Halloween!)My Profile

  11. Case to case basis… If the mom left without knowing where, without a contact, then maybe she did the right thing. But, if she has resources to contact the mother, then she should have ask first before doing so… Let us hear her reasons, maybe, just maybe that was the best thing to do in that certain situation…
    Scarlette recently posted…The Samsung Galaxy Nexus 19250My Profile

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