If I’m being honest, I can say that I’m loving life right now. I’m getting time to spend with my family and that feels good.

Before this life change, I had been on the fence about what I wanted to do career wise. I loved being a producer at one point. I had done it for so long though that I was wondering what else there was that I might like to do. I wondered if there was something else in television that I wanted to try. I felt like I owed it to myself to find out  if I would like something more than I liked being a producer. Nothing was standing out to me as far as what I’d like to try. But my eyes were open.

Since the company closure, I have this clean slate to check out all options, it feels like a blessing. As I am tossing around ideas, I’m also keeping my options open.

heart

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What I know is that since the time my son was about 4 months, I haven’t wanted to leave his side. I had a hard time leaving him at daycare. I transitioned him and his sister for four weeks each. I was there with them everyday over four weeks to make sure they were comfortable and I was comfortable. As much as I LOVED their school, it never got easier for me to drop them off at school.

Today, it feels like I am undercover. Or an actress doing research for a role. That’s what this new life feels like. As I get used to be at home, being a part of the SAHM scene, I feel like I am getting an insiders view to something I’ve been curious about for years. From what I’m experiencing, the solidarity of SAHM’s is real. Maybe I’ve just been lucky enough to meet really nice moms. I dunno. Beyond that, I am getting a front row seat to the development and growth of my babies. Money can’t buy that.

I can’t say I’m exactly sure about what the future holds. What I do know is Who holds the future. With that, I’m taking each day as it comes. As long as I get the opportunity to be a SAHM, I’m soaking it in and appreciating the gift of it all.

That’s where my heart is. What’s going on with you?

14 comments on “Following my heart…Even though I have no idea where it’s going”

  1. I am glad that you are able to experience this time of freedom and bonding. I complain a lot about wanting to work but I know that when my time comes I will be crying for more time with my baby. I just really hope I can figure out what’s next for me soon so that I can have the balance I need for me to be completely content.
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  2. Children grow up so fast. Enjoy your time with them and take pictures and video for memories. I am running errands today with my daughter and going to the chiropractor.

  3. I have wanted to be a part of the SAHM scene but it just isn’t possible for us but I appreciate how much you can just be there watching your little ones grow. I say soak it all up while you can and when you’re ready the right path will be right there for you.

  4. i love the honesty in this post and the bravery to allow life to just be and for you to live in the moment..enjoying your babies and hubby. i think too often we rush into things just to be doing things and being a SAHM is a blessing like many of the other ladies mentioned..enjoy it!
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