We’ve been told time and time again that we can’t have it all. You can’t have the dream job and the man of your dreams. Choose. There’s no way you can be an awesome mom and have a thriving career. Choose. Personally, after my second child, my old employer wondered out loud if I’d be able to keep up. I’d only been back a week. Already my ability to hold down a career and be a mom were in question. Choose.

I'll never say that being a mom that pursues her dreams is easy. What I'll always say is it's worth it. The thing is we think we have to choose.

So we choose. Then, almost immediately after we feel guilty about that choice. By choosing to go for the career are we neglecting our kids? By choosing our babies are we sacrificing our identity? I’m not sure how many moms I know or moms I have met who have been in this boat – myself included. Go back to work or stay home with the kids, go after the promotion and risk being away from my family or stick with what I know? Pursue my dream or convince myself that it’s not realistic? Typically, what seems to be the case is, when faced with a decision between your dreams and your family, family wins. Hands down. Is there really any other option?

Sometimes I think what we don’t realize is that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It’s not all black and white. There has to be room for a little grey too. That’s where both worlds collide – in the best way. That’s where motherhood and dreams doesn’t have to be an either or. Still, for so many of us, we overlook the grey area. We constantly think we have to choose. What if we chose instead to have both and be OK with losing the idea of perfection.

I’ll never say that being a mom that pursues her dreams is easy. What I’ll always say is it’s worth it. It’s about having priorities and making yourself one of those priorities. It’s not about balance for me. I’m convinced that doesn’t exist. Instead it comes and goes based on what’s most important at the time. That’s where those priorities come in. You have to define what they are and allow them to guide your decisions.

I'll never say that being a mom that pursues her dreams is easy. What I'll always say is it's worth it. The thing is we think we have to choose.

That’s the thing with motherhood. It’s a constantly evolving journey that asks a lot of you. It’s easy to lose yourself and your dreams in it all. Remembering who you are and what you want can be a challenge. For those challenges, it’s always helpful for me to turn to my squad. Every mom needs one! I wanna invite you to join me and 21 other moms who share your struggles and understand your journey. You know it takes a mom to really get another mom. I’m speaking at The Mom Project Summit. It’s an online summit full of strategies, motivation and inspiration to empower you on this motherhood journey. Whether you’re looking for support for your health, finances, business or dreams, we’ve got you covered – and it’s FREE! I’d love to see you there.

What’s your biggest mommyhood struggle? What’s been your best advice for making the mommyhood journey easier?

11 comments on “We think we have to choose”

  1. I’m one of those moms who admits that the struggle has been real. I had my first child last year, and I would love to connect with other moms. I also read your blog post on “balance.” Now I see where I’ve gone wrong.

  2. This has been hard for me as well. I know if I go back to work we’d be much better of financially, and be able to take more fun vacations, but I also love being able to stay at home with my babies. I love being able to take them to the doctor whenever needed, go on field trips with the older ones, and not have to miss out on any of their afterschool activities. It’s definitely a hard choice.

  3. What if we chose instead to have both and be OK with losing the idea of perfection. – powerful! Thanks for posting this. I share the same viewpoint as you and it’s always so encouraging to find like-minded people!

  4. I love this! It’s a constant juggle of putting one’s dreams to the forefront and then boosting a child. It’s definitely not a set and forget.

  5. This is a fantastic post. I never chose anything. Yes, I had it all…in a rotating fashion. There truly is not balance. Each day something is on top and the next day it is near the bottom of your to do list. I ran a private practice full time while raising my kids. I was at all their important events and did homework every night with them and read them bedtime stories. I was with daily all weekend days. They never felt I was not present. They are successful thriving adults and I still have an amazing career. Don’t let others force you to choose. Choose it all. Then be kind to yourself when some days are not as smooth as others.

  6. My biggest struggle in motherhood has been finding myself. I spent many years thinking and dreaming of being a mother, and then I became a mother,and I felt my identities clash and collide. Every day I struggle with who I want to be, who I have become, and where I want to go. I’m not sure if I want to work, or stay home, or blog, or do what. I keep hoping for a moment

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