I was talking to someone recently who has dreams of being a successful artist. This is a big dream, for sure, but it’s not impossible. They had created some pieces that had been fairly well received. Obviously they were feeling good about their accomplishments and looking to grow further. That’s when they began sharing more about their dream with a really close family member. The family member didn’t share the support for the dream and suggested this emerging artist just stop now. This is the risk of sharing your dream, right? The family member said that what they wanted wasn’t going to happen. The sentiment was pretty much don’t quit your day job – this ain’t for you.
I know this isn’t some isolated story. We’ve all been there or know someone who has. Your dreams are just that – YOUR dreams. Everyone doesn’t have to be on board. They don’t have to share your passion. It’s not their dream. As I told my friend, sharing your dream can be tricky and you can’t share them with everybody. Even the people you know should be in your corner. They could have their reasons for trying to talk you out of what you say it is you want. Maybe they had a big, out of this world dream too and no matter what they tried – it failed. Maybe they don’t want you to feel the hurt and disappointment that they live with everyday.
Sharing your dream
It could be that they don’t envision for you what you see for yourself. My advice: don’t expect them to. You know how you don’t tell every guy you meet that you’re in love with them? It takes time to trust new people with your vulnerabilities. You take your time to know that they will take care when it comes to your feelings. It takes time to trust anyone – friends or significant others – with your heart. Guard your dreams just as you would guard your heart.
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You know how even after you’ve started a new relationship you don’t tell everybody. You wait until you know you’ve really got something before you let other people in. Same idea here. Keep your dreams close. People will find a way to pick it a part if you let them. You’ll go from being confident in what you’re capable of, to being on seriously shaky ground. Your dreams deserve better than that. YOU deserve better than that. Hold your dreams close. Nurture them.
Real G’s Move In Silence
Have you ever heard the phrase “real G’s move in silence”? That’s because you can show people much better than you can tell them. Erykah Badu told us a long time ago “I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about my s#*!.” That was right when she shared the masterpiece that is “Tyrone”. She waited until she had that song to damn near perfection before she dropped it on us. She didn’t share the lyrics along the way while she was still figuring it out. Too many people would have told her the song was wack. They wouldn’t have been able to see what it would become. The same goes for what you’ve got going on in your heart. Be sensitive about your ish. Everybody ain’t worthy to gaze upon your greatness. Even the ones you think would bask in that glow right along with you.
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You can talk to them about the weather, the latest blockbuster, and anything else you want. Just don’t go sharing your dream, your heart. They don’t have to be invited to that space.
Tell me, have you been sharing your dream with someone only to have them stomp on it? How did you recover? What did you learn?
7 Comments on Lesson: Sharing your dream with the wrong people
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Let’s just say that my Mom was not the biggest fan when it came to m dreams of going into business for myself. I had been a nurse for over 30 years, but wanted a new career. “You should just stick to nursing” was her thought.
That is exactly what happened to me when I began my blogging and crafting journey. Those I thought would share and support, did not. They simply didn’t act as if they even noticed I was trying to step out of the box. Some have since asked me to support their need or endeavor…I am finally at a place where I can’t do it anymore. I hate to be petty and play tit for tat, but hey, you don’t support me, well how about I don’t support you?
“Maybe they don’t want you to feel the hurt and disappointment that they live with everyday.” — very well put! And I think this is probably the main reason people rain on your parade. I had to learn to stop sharing my dreams, too, because even when people don’t say anything, you can see the doubt on their faces.
A while ago, I went to see a vocational counselor. He said that he was a “splash of cold water.” I didn’t know what that meant. He asked me what my dream career was. I said that it was travel writer. He then told me all of the reasons why my dream career was a nightmare. I was crushed. That’s when I learned that, just because someone has the title of counselor,it doesn’t mean that person is actually wise.
What an awful career counselor! Hopefully you keep working towards your goals!
I just kept nodding my head in agreement as I read through this. I’ve only told three people about my dream to start a blog – and these three have been nothing but supportive. As for the others? Even if they don’t say it out loud, I get the sense that their reaction to my dreams will speak louder than words, and that may discourage me. I just keep thinking about the quote that goes something like “don’t announce your next move before you make it” 😉