The president of a television network once told me “you can have it all, just not at the same time.” She’s a married, mother of two with this high-powered job. I could imagine the juggling act she was performing daily.  It got me to thinking: Balance. Is it a joke?

As I have made the transition from full time working mom in the crazy entertainment business to the crazy world of entrepreneurship, I have had to think about what having it all means to me. Does having it all mean having a booming career with the lifestyle to match and an equally thriving family life? Can all of that really exist at the same time? The vision of having it all totally depends on the eyes you’re looking through.

having it all

For me, the term “having it all” took on a different meaning once I had children. Before the arrival of my babies I knew exactly what I wanted. My ideal life had me working in entertainment in New York city, living in an apartment in Manhattan. I figured I’d wear super fashionable clothes and drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I seriously formed this vision while in college. Call me crazy! I ended up pretty close. My career dreams landed me in television in Los Angeles instead of New York. I did buy a Jeep. I got the Liberty instead of the Grand Cherokee. I worked for the Style Network so it was pretty much a no-brainer to stylishly show up to work!

Fast forward to my mommy life. All of the good stuff of my career became less appealing to me. I didn’t want to go to parties or events. I wanted to be at home with my babies. I was no longer interested in endless hours at work. I had other priorities. My having it all now meant spending as much time as I could with the people I created and the man I created them with.

balance

I decided to define having it all having and balance in my own terms. Balance for me is on a day to day basis. I spend my days with my children. That means that my time is not my own! I find time to do things for me and I maximize that time. Some days it’s a perfect dance we do. The kids get all they need and they take wonderful, full naps. During those naps, I get to crank out tons of work and cross some things off my massive list. By the time they wake up, I’m ready to play some more and enjoy them. There are other times that they act like sleep is an evil monster waiting to eat them up the minute they close their eyes. I don’t get a thing done until bed time and even then I’m exhausted. Balance. It’s a day to day thing. My focus is making sure everyone in our house gets what they need. Sometimes someone needs a little more or less. That’s balance for me. It’s not an overall life thing. I find that too overwhelming and then I end up kicking myself when something doesn’t workout. By taking it day by day, I give myself some grace and allow room for things to not be perfect. It works for me.

So tell me, what does balance look like for you? How do you define having it all?

42 comments on “Having it All! Are you a believer?”

  1. Balance is a HUGE thing! Especially since I work at work, then come home and work on the house or my job from home. I try to schedule time DAILY for spending quality time with my son and my husband!

  2. I am still struggling to find balance between my family, blog, and other life things. I believe I “have it all” though, because I have such a wonderful family and great friends.
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  3. I think balance is a mythical creature. All we can do is what you’re doing – taking it day by day going with the flow of shifting priorities.

  4. Having it all to me is to be able to be me and enjoy life with my family. It means being healthy and financially able to enjoy life as I want. Balance is a good mix of responsibility and fun.

  5. Balance for me is being happy, having a happy family, the bills being met, the roof over our heads sound, and working at something I love. Not too much, right? 🙂

  6. I really love your post. It’s such a hard thing to balance it all. For me, I know that when I have kids I am going to want to spend all of my time with them. That’s why I got a puppy to start 🙂 I work from home and throw her the ball while I work 12-15 hour days. Right now my business is my baby because I really do think it can have an amazing impact on the world. And the best part is my husband is so understanding and we spend time when we have it. You definitely have to create your own version of balance

  7. Great question. I have no idea what having it all means to me. I am at a crossroads in my life and think about this often.

  8. Great Post! 🙂 Oh Gosh – balance is a juggling act. Some days i have awesome balance and on other days not so much. Totally agree – balance is a subjective thing. So these days i judge balance my how i am ‘feeling’ – i.e who i am being and not what i am doing and what needs to get done. So i tend to go by my feelings as long as i am enjoying the ‘doing’ process, then that equals balance to me – if not – then it means am going into overwhelm and stress territory so feeling unbalanced and time to stop and take time out to find my balance – hope that makes sense.. ♡ xx
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  9. Great post! For me it really helped to accept that my idea of balance has changed. As a VP in a big corporation, I had no balance and for awhile that was ok. Until it wasn’t and I was burnt out. Now that I have my own career mentorship business, I find it easier to balance my life because I make my own schedule based on my priorities. The trouble is that I’m the only one holding me accountable! Thanks for sharing Camesha!

  10. My days are work and my evenings are for my boyfriend. My kids are grown but if they were still at home, my waking hours would be for the kids and I wouldn’t be working. That’s just how I always did it. I didn’t work until they went to college. Even now when I’m with them, I don’t work at all. That’s just how I like it!
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