There’s one thing I’ve always run away from. It took me until a few years ago to just out right claim it and to step out of denial. I don’t know why it took me so long to fess up to being a writer. It’s what I’ve always done.
As a little girl, I’d sit in my room and pull out notepads and write. I’d write songs non-stop! Writing became the thing I would always turn to. That and music. They both bring me peace. I had a hard time calling myself a writer because I felt like I hadn’t earned it. It’s silly, really. After college, I wrote for a newspaper. Then, I moved on to television and ended up being a writer and producer. Even with those titles under my belt, I felt like I hadn’t “earned” the title of writer. How crazy is that? It’s called extreme denial and the imposter syndrome!
I think it’s common though. I’m sure I’m not the only one to not own something so obvious. The imposter syndrome is real. I think we can get into a place of questioning ourselves. It’s as if there are these hoops we think we need to jump through before we can claim who or what we really are.
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Think about this. Who do you consider an expert? At anything? Then think about why you see them as an expert. The truth is, we tend to accept someone as an expert because they tell us they are. Don’t get me wrong. They absolutely have to back that up with some proof that they know their stuff. Initially though, it’s based on their word.
I’ve heard many people say that if there’s something you want, then be it. Live as if you are it. There’s no way to get around the work that goes into making it true and real. All of our dreams start though with the decision to just be it. One of my dreams was to be a published author. I made that dream come true in 2012 just before my daughter was born.
Now I’m ready to tackle another book. I’ve got an outline done. I’ve got a chapter written. There’s still so much more to be done but I feel good about my journey to being a twice published author. I wanted to share my newest dream and journey with you. First, I’m a believer in walking what I talk. As a mom who encourages other moms to follow their dreams, I have to continue to follow mine too. I’ll be updating you along the way! The other reason I wanted to share in this space is because you all can hold me accountable! Accountability is a big deal for meeting any goal, right?
I’m wondering, if there’s something you’ve talked yourself out of? Is there something you want but you feel like an imposter for saying it out loud?
**Also, I’m launching a new Facebook group next week! It’ll be a fun space for moms to be motivated and supported in our goals + dreams!
27 Comments on Denial, Decisions + The Imposter
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LOL, I always say that to my husband – “What makes someone an expert on something…just saying they are an expert?”. It’s totally true. It’s all made up 🙂
I’ve never felt like I was a fraud. I really try to stay with what I know or what I can learn before I give out any advice or anything like that.
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I’ve struggled with that feeling before. I don’t think you have to earn your passion. You just have to do it. But I learned that the hard way of not ever feeling like I’d done enough to prove myself.
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I might tell someone I and pretty good at something, but I would never say I am an expert. What a great idea for a Facebook group.
I think a lot of people feel like an impostor. I am really bad about talking myself out of things. I can be my own worst enemy.
I believe quite a few people play down their talents and expertise because they want to fit in with friends and family who are basically jealous. Sometimes others have no interest in what the person does well. Self-confidence is important. Refusing to be the best you can be is self-defeating. Think positive about your contributions. Only an expert can advocate and motivate others. You achieve both very well.
Thank you! I agree whole heartedly. When we hold ourselves back we don’t serve ourselves or anyone else. Absolutely self-defeating.
You are so motivational. I had a dream so long I can’t even think when I didn’t want it. It’s to be a college graduate. I’ve started and stopped at least four times due to life & me own low self esteem. Now no one supports me trying again but I’m going to do it. Thanks for your words from a single mom.#BLMGirls
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Thank you for your sweet words! I appreciate them. I look forward to you completing your degree. Once credit at a time, dear. It’s all progress. 🙂
I think it’s hard to declare oneself an expert. Being expert seems relative, right? At the same time if you have enough wisdom to help others streamline their path, that is expertise!
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You’re right. It’s totally relative.There’s always someone who knows more.
Some of the best advice I took away from a conference was to ask our peers what they perceived us to be an expert in. I combined many opinions and got a better handle on what I’m good at!
Yes! I’ve done that exercise before too. It’s really interesting how much differently people see you – in a good way!
I’ve definitely talked myself out of a few things before. I think it’s a really hard habit to break.
I have wondered a few times what makes someone an expert. It would be hard to say i was an expert at something.
I think many of us have talked ourselves out of things because we let our insecurities take over. I know I’m guilty of doing it from time to time.
This is a great read, I think all creative minds should read this. Confidence is key and we really should have more of it when it comes to what we are good at.
Exactly! You’d think being good at something would mean automatic confidence.
Worth spending time to read. Some people are still not expert
This post is such an encouragement and so timely for me. I talk myself out of so much due to fear. Love this. Congrats on your second book!
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Thank you! We all talk ourselves out of something at some point instead of just going for it.
I have often wondered what makes one an expert at something. I am a writer, but am far from an expert on many things.
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You definitely earned the title of writer. I didn’t realize there was an impostor syndrome, but I can see how it could happen.
Thank you. I didn’t know about an imposter syndrome until I saw it in myself.
I am my own worst enemy and have talked myself out of things before! This is a great post with an awesome lesson/message.
This was good. I have to remind myself of these same things often. I have been writing since elementary school but I still have to learn to trust my material. I am working on my first book that I plan to publish and I know it is going to get a lot of flack from my family because of the topic but I know I am supposed to do it and I am going to. I also recently graduated with my Masters in social work and I have to go through the same thing with identifying myself as a social worker and future counselor. Trusting what is inside of you is a hard thing to do.
The irony – I’ve written for several years, yet never considered myself a writer. I’ve been told over those same years that I’m a great writer and that I should try my hand at being published. Because of health issues, I’ve never committed to writing a book of any kind. I have noticed, however, that since I’ve gotten back into blogging on a very regular basis, that it gives me more of a purpose and in some ways, helps alleviate my health problems. There’s a message there… lol