As women, we tend to change – a lot. Whether it be our hair, fashion sense or what we want for ourselves. It’s always evolving.
As a single woman, I had this idea of me working in television or public relations. I imagined I’d drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee. It would be silver with gold trim. Yep, I was specific, y’all! I would wear pants suits to work and I’d live in New York. I even found an apartment on line that I just knew I would one day live in. Never mind that I was a recent college graduate and the apartment was in the middle of Manhattan and costs over 3k a month. It may have been a one bedroom.
My reality ended up being pretty close. I worked in television and part of my job was public relations related. I wore pants suits often. I didn’t get the Jeep Grand Cherokee but at one point, I owned a gold Jeep Liberty. My location ended up being Los Angeles. I’ve never paid over 3k a month in rent, for the record.
As I grew older, what I wanted changed. Throw marriage into the mix and what I wanted changed again. Once I had children, the vision I held for my life is far from what I expected as a single woman. In a good way. The thing I’ve always had to do is to make sure my dreams included me. My parents had their own dreams for me, but what did I want for myself? My husband has his own dreams and they include me, but what do I want for myself? I have dreams for my own kids and have built my life in a way that supports the dreams we have for them, but I still have to carve out the dreams I want for myself.
There have been times that I have to re-evaluate what I want and what I’m doing to get there. I’m committed to being an awesome mama and I know I have to make an equal commitment to being the best version of myself. It helps me to be an even better mama! I can easily lose myself in my family. My husband needs my support for his career (he works crazy hours and travels). My kids need all I have to give them. That can leave little time to to even focus on what I want and what that looks like. The thing is, I have to. Everybody has their needs, including me. I can’t just meet theirs while ignoring mine.
[ctt title=”Everybody has their needs, including me. I can’t just meet theirs while ignoring mine.” tweet=”Everybody has their needs, including me. I can’t just meet theirs while ignoring mine. http://ctt.ec/UaeNc+ @CameshaGosha” coverup=”UaeNc”]
The woman I was before my kids is still there. Though I no longer want a Jeep Grand Cherokee (I’m happily driving a Ford Flex that I call my school bus), some of my other goals remain. So how do you get there? For me, I had to find a way to put my goals into perspective. I have a lot I want to do and needed some order and priorities! This worksheet helps me to put things in perspective and helps me to focus on my goals. It really makes you think about: What do you want?
Things tend to seem less overwhelming once they’re written out. Go ahead and download it, it’s free.
I hear from moms all the time about their goals. One big thing that comes up is they don’t know where to even begin. I figured I’d share what helps me. Hoping it helps someone else make some progress.
Let me know what stops or helps you make progress on goals/dreams?
P.S. Speaking of progress, I’d love to get your 3 cents as I work to make this space even better! Click here to take the quickest survey ever and be entered into a giveaway for the gift card of your choice (Target, Amazon, Starbucks)! Yup, it’s that easy.
76 Comments on What do you want? Really.
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This is so true. I chased my needs for a long time before I ever even thought about what I wanted.
Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle recently posted…@Ipsy Glam Bag Reveal July 2015 #beauty #ipsy #makeup #style
I love this post! So often, we focus on our needs that we forget it’s our wants that give us our passion. We all have dreams and aspirations.
Melissa Pezza recently posted…Potty Training Tips to get Night Trained!
Love that printable. What a great way to plan your goals and accomplish them.
I want a lot of things, but then I always think to myself that it can wait because the kids need something.
Hi Camesha! I love love love this post! You hit it spot on … mom’s who take time to care for themselves are better mothers and wives, in my opinion! I love the goal sheet, too! It’s definitely all about breaking things down into smaller, manageable goals. Great post!
Heather recently posted…Retrain your brain by removing these words from your vocabulary
There are TONS of things I want, but what I really need – is for my family to be happy. That means taking care of them and remembering they are what is most important.
Debra recently posted…How Do You Handle Stress? #IHeartTiramisu
What a great post. I need to set some new goals. Now that my son is grown it is time to think about me a little more.
There are some periods of days or weeks that I kind of go on auto-pilot. I have to step back and evaluate what I’m doing and what it’s accomplishing.
Liz Mays recently posted…Clean First for the Best Finish #PuracynPlusCleanFirst
I think I am doing better on working towards my own goals now that the kids are getting older. It is so easy to forget them when you are working on being a mom only.
Valerie recently posted…REVIEW – Clearogen 3 Step Acne Treatment
It’s so important to reevaluate our goals over time. I know that mine have changed often over the years.
Toni | Boulder Locavore recently posted…Jack and {Mexican} Coke Popsicles
I’m a big list person. So having this tangible goal list is definitely helpful for evaluating my life, thanks
Christie recently posted…Scooby Doo and KISS Rock & Roll Mystery Blu-ray Combo Pack Giveaway
I am lucky enough to be passionate about my job and love what I do, but always create new goals to keep that flame burning strong. I love the idea of a dream worksheet!
Marcie W. recently posted…Healthy Holistic Skin Care Courtesy Of Made From Earth
I think it’s awesome that life has turned out almost as you planned. For me I think that I need to focus more.
I know what I want and I am going after it. It’s not an easy road sometimes but I can smell it – so close 🙂
It is so easy to get wrapped up in our needs and completely let go of chasing what we want. I only started my new business I am passionate about three months ago!
Sabrina recently posted…Crispy Cracklin’ Pork Shoulder (Slow Cooker & Oven)
Right now, I just want a job where I can work how I want but also have family time. Work life balance is something that’s important to me as I age.
Cinny recently posted…Celebrate #TheForceAwakens, #Disney, & #Peanuts with Adorable #Crochet Characters #ad #crafts
I have to write things down to make myself accountable. I really need to reflect on what I can realistically accomplish this year, and then make it happen!
Crystal recently posted…Kids Eat Free at Denny’s
The list sounds like a great idea. We get so busy making sure everyone else is taken care of our own goals are shot.
You are right! We have to keep our dreams and goals alive even as we care and cater to our loved ones. I still pursue my interests and encourage my kids to do same.
Wow, that’s a loaded question that makes you really think. Great idea!
Raijean recently posted…Get Tropical with Zoya’s Island Fun Collection
That’s super cute! What an awesome reminder!
Marina John recently posted…How To Maintain Your Car’s Paint Job
For years i have been in a rut working the same job and doing the same things every day. A month ago i was told my position was being eliminated. That was the kick in the pants i needed to get myself going. I am going to use this opportunity to follow my dreams.
At first, I didn’t know what I want in life and have been playing it day by day. But as I’ve gotten older I started figuring out what I wanted in life and start shooting for my goals. I’m happy to say that I have been achieving them.
Louida recently posted…5 Healthy and Time-Saving Snacks Kids will Love
Things we want do change over time. Circumstances def. dictate many of those desires/needs.
I’m like you. I worked in TV. It led me to move from NY, to MO, to OH, to MO and then MS.
Clearly set goals are so important.
Joyce Brewer (@MommyTalkShow) recently posted…Enjoy a Summer of Debt-Free Travel
My goals have changed some over the years too. Thanks for reminding me to really think about my goals in the future too.
Theresa recently posted…Smart Snack Ideas for Summer
Thank you for the printable. It is difficult to remember our own dreams when we are so focused on our kids!
Christy Maurer recently posted…Evologie for Clear Skin
In my life the need for change has always hit me at the worst possible moments. Of course I have to follow my heart, and that isn’t always easy.
Nina Say recently posted…This is Wholesome: Easy Back-to-School Snacks with Honey Maid
Well what stop me is just no support. I am home with the kids because childcare is too expensive for two children. One day the kids will be old enough to take care of themselves and I’ll have a little more freedom. But I have to look at my life and realize I wanted this. I wanted to be the stay at home mom with my kids…I got it. I now need to find ways to enjoy it while I can.
Heather recently posted…3 Health Benefits of Eating Oysters
Thanks for sharing this blog. I think it is so important that we identify what our goals and dreams outside of both our kids and spouses… It doesn’t mean we don’t value our family… We are just adding to it.
It is amazing how our dreams and goals change and evolve as we do.
The Conservative Mommy recently posted…The Liebster Award- New Recipients
I’m going to be really honest and tell you that I have no idea what I really want. I change my mind all the time and I am totally ok with that.
ricci recently posted…Visiting Atlantic City
I agree about how we change and what we want changes. All through my 20s I just wanted to travel and be free (and most of my 30s, too.) Now I’m (a bit) more grounded, although I still travel all the time, but it’s different because I’m more content whether I’m at home or away.
Wandering Carol recently posted…Losing my cool in the footsteps of Coco Chanel in Paris
Such an insightful post. So many times we put everyone’s needs ahead of ours, to our detriment. Our dreams are important and need to be addressed too.
Tyra recently posted…Solo Travel Tips Guide
Your dreams go on changing right into old age. How could we be human without dreams?
Francene Stanley recently posted… Discover how your rate of eating affects your body.
Daily and even monthly reevaluation are so key because whether we realize it or not we change as we go throughout life and some of the things we thought we must haves no longer matter.
Kimberly recently posted…Lessons Learned at 31
It’s like you wrote this post for me. I’ve been sitting at a crossroad recently so confused on what I want… Need to work on that list.
Shaney Vijendranath recently posted…What to do with Kids this Winter in Johannesburg
Love this. I struggle with separating my dreams from my family’s and making MINE a priority. I’m a work in progress!
LaShawn recently posted…Our Project 52 Week 29: Your Favorite
It’s amazing how much your dreams can change over the years. Not always, I’m sure, but sometimes. My kids changed mine, but I’m not upset in the least! 🙂
I have taken several different roads in my lifetime. It might not have been what I imagined it to be. However, I have been blessed with the path that I did take. I have achieved goals that people probably would have thought were impossible. It took hard work and dedication to do what was best for me and my family. Now I do freelance because of my medical issues. I’m thankful for that.
Uplifting Families recently posted…Going Meat-Less? Be Careful On Your Choice Of Protein Intake
I’m at the point where I’m trying to figure out what I really want now. I’ve been doing what others expect from me for too long and it made me unhappy. Thank you for sharing this. It’s really encouraging.
JoAnna recently posted…Wonder Curl Feature
When I was single, I was very focused with career but when I become a Mom, I changed. They are now my priority and I have no regrets!
Chubskulit Rose recently posted…Fun Tenth Birthday at Home
great post ! it helps me to motivating pursue what am i doing to work this work was very inspiring . thank you for making me inspired i really love your post
I have a goal when it comes to our blog and I have big dreams about it too. What helps me is my husband’s full support. It’s always great when you have such support.
Lynndee recently posted…I’m Known to Take a ‘Quantum Leap’ into the ‘Twilight Zone’
I wanted to do a lot of things before I had my kids. When I got pregnant, everything went to a halt. My kids are older now and I still have those dreams, but I realized, taking care of my family is what I really want to do.
Mykidsguide recently posted…Three Rockin’ Ways to Bid Farewell to Summer: Back to School Party Ideas for Teens
Happiness is what we really want. Nothing wrong with setting goals, and striving for them. Life will always alter our goals hopefully for the better.
Faye Wilkerson recently posted…Microwave Cheese Sauce
This is a great question. I have been wondering myself and I think I have a plan in the works to get there.
Jacqui recently posted…Weight Watchers Magazine ONLY $4.99/year
I love this post. I have been ignoring my own needs for far too long. Yesterday was my 40th birthday and it was a real eye opener for me in those realizations. Now, its time to take care of me and get back to the life I was meant to live.
Chrystal | YUM eating recently posted…Summer Time Means Grill Time
This is such a timely message. I love your quote about meeting other’s needs while ignoring your own. Great reminder!
Stacie recently posted…So Fab On The Road Comes to Minneapolis!
I love that your focusing on how our wants and needs change in stages in our life. I’m in the content stage. My cars are paid for and I’m not wanting to buy another. My van is 15 years old and runs great. I hae other plans for that $ like travelling.
Dina recently posted…Raspberry Dream Dessert #12daysof
My dad gave me one piece of advice that I still practice today. He said that if something is bothering me, or if there is something that I really want, get a piece of paper and write it down in big bold letters at the top of the page. Then divide the paper into two columns. Label it “pros” and “cons” Weigh it out. Just like goal setting. Is it really a need or is it just a want? Go ahead and weigh it out.
Annemarie LeBlanc recently posted…The Official Trailer for ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2′ SEE IT HERE!
I’ve been spending a lot of time considering this exact question. This post is really right on time.
T. Espinoza recently posted…Robots, Drones and Automobiles: A Review of the 2015 Kia Sedona
I definitely have dreams and goals. Writing down my goals helps a lot, but goals without action are just dreams. I think fear keeps me from progressing. I have to get over that.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Ramona recently posted…Last Week in Social Media News {Tech Tuesday}
I am a life and career coach and so I help people evaluate their goals and take those steps to achieve them daily, I often have to check in with myself to make sure I am doing for myself what I so easily do for others. Like most, I feel more successful some days, less so others.
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly recently posted…Highlights from #GettingGorgeous 2015 in NYC + join the twitter party 7/22 at 1pm EST!
It’s definitely true that goals can change. Marriage and kids often throw a big curve ball into what we originally thought might happen in our lives.
Lisa recently posted…The Do’s and Don’ts of Baby Formula
Yes, becoming a parent can definitely put certain goals on the back burner. Becoming a single mom can make things seem even more unattainable. Passion & determination is key.
I was very specific when I was younger too when it came to where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I had 4 kids and am now single geeze this was definatly not in my plans.What helped me get to my dream career as a blogger has to be the family support I had through the years and motivation qoutes. Also my own willpower to be the best which is deep within me but rarely likes to show face because it’s a bit aggressive you could say lol.
Jessica Simms recently posted…Blue Bunny Ice Cream Cupcakes
I’ve never looked at things like that before. I am downloading your printable and workings on this over the next year for sure. It’s time to start chasing after my wants.
Nickida recently posted…Zootopia Sneak Peek Trailer
This is a great post! I am constantly trying to evaluate what I really want and it typically comes down to pretty basic things. Thanks for this!
Your posts are always so inspirational and always get me thinking. It is interesting to look at things from this new point of view.
Thank you so much Tracey. I really appreciate that. 🙂
I use to change what I needed all the time… The I woke up one day and realized that I should be chasing the things I want in life and what truly makes me happy. Life has been better ever since 🙂
This is a great post and topic. I think it is awesome that you are sharing with others what works for you. I do believe things seem less over whelming when you write them down. Thanks so much for sharing.
I want a lot of things, I am learning to prioritize, it is so important, love the printable! #brownbloglove
Nancy recently posted…15 of Our Favorite, Kickass Productivity Tips For Busy Entrepreneurs
What I want has really changed over the years. I am working on setting aside time to achieve my goals.
Thank you so much for this post, this is exactly what I needed to read this morning. Things have changed for me and its important to be okay with that!
Erin recently posted…Blogging Tools I Can’t Live Without.
You are so right about this! It’s so easy to get caught up in day to day life with a family and job and just lose sight of your own goals and dreams. I’m a better wife, mother and person because I have my own goals.
I love this – ‘but what did I want for myself”… great question.
I’m testing my goal achievement with baby steps. Not overwhelming myself then abandoning it because the chunks are too big and seemingly unachievable. Makes you realise how many pieces of the pie our life becomes!
This is such a good and inspiring read. I’m sure we all have our goals and what’s important is how we work our way towards them. Sometimes, the road is difficult but I keep myself motivated. I think of the finish line and that keeps me going. Sometimes I get side tracked but nevertheless I always come back – especially if it’s about things that I want for myself.
R U S S recently posted…Food Trip: Shi Lin
Awesome post as usual Camesha! We are always evolving and it’s a give and take when it comes to motherhood and going after what you want. I look at life as a journey and I try to take in all of it, even the rough patches
Adanna recently posted…7 Things To Do In Philadelphia With Kids
GREAT post Camesha!! You were right on point! Thanks for articulating so well what many women feel and grapple with!
April recently posted…You’re Never Too Old
Nice simple graphic that lets you put things in perspective. As the saying goes – the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Gabriel recently posted…Gluten Free Dried Cherry Chocolate Chip Cookies
This is a wonderful reminder to take time for ourselves as mothers. We put so much of us into our marriage and children we tend to forget us. I’ve wanted to write and publish a novel since I was in elementary school. I tossed that dream aside when I went to business school, became an accountant, quit that went to nutrition school, became a nutritionist, quit that became a mother. I finally now feel like I’m ready to get back to my roots and remember my passions. This article is great motivation to push forward.
As a woman and Mama, I can so relate. I am a nurturer, and giving to my husband then children. My dreams and wants got buried in trying to please everyone else. It is so true we have more to offer our children when we take care of ourselves and make time for our dreams and wants.
Jul’s Arthur recently posted…Why you need to be an organized traveler.
A really great post. As I have aged, I have definitely shifted the way I approach life and I have benefited from it in many ways.
Jaye@Curvatude recently posted…{The Top 10} Instagram Curvy Swimsuit Fashion Moments of The Week Vol 2 #CurvyTop10
I agree with you. Our dreams change whenever our lifestyle change. My dreams now are far different than my dreams before.
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