As women, we tend to change – a lot. Whether it be our hair, fashion sense or what we want for ourselves. It’s always evolving.

As a single woman, I had this idea of me working in television or public relations. I imagined I’d drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee. It would be silver with gold trim. Yep, I was specific, y’all! I would wear pants suits to work and I’d live in New York. I even found an apartment on line that I just knew I would one day live in. Never mind that I was a recent college graduate and the apartment was in the middle of Manhattan and costs over 3k a month. It may have been a one bedroom.

My reality ended up being pretty close. I worked in television and part of my job was public relations related. I wore pants suits often. I didn’t get the Jeep Grand Cherokee but at one point, I owned a gold Jeep Liberty. My location ended up being Los Angeles. I’ve never paid over 3k a month in rent, for the record.

What do you want-As I grew older, what I wanted changed. Throw marriage into the mix and what I wanted changed again. Once I had children, the vision I held for my life is far from what I expected as a single woman. In a good way. The thing I’ve always had to do is to make sure my dreams included me. My parents had their own dreams for me, but what did I want for myself? My husband has his own dreams and they include me, but what do I want for myself? I have dreams for my own kids and have built my life in a way that supports the dreams we have for them, but I still have to carve out the dreams I want for myself.

chasing my dreamsThere have been times that I have to re-evaluate what I want and what I’m doing to get there. I’m committed to being an awesome mama and I know I have to make an equal commitment to being the best version of myself. It helps me to be an even better mama! I can easily lose myself in my family. My husband needs my support for his career (he works crazy hours and travels). My kids need all I have to give them. That can leave little time to to even focus on what I want and what that looks like. The thing is, I have to. Everybody has their needs, including me. I can’t just meet theirs while ignoring mine.

The woman I was before my kids is still there. Though I no longer want a Jeep Grand Cherokee (I’m happily driving a Ford Flex that I call my school bus), some of my other goals remain. So how do you get there? For me, I had to find a way to put my goals into perspective. I have a lot I want to do and needed some order and priorities! This worksheet helps me to put things in perspective and helps me to focus on my goals. It really makes you think about: What do you want?

MMDRThings tend to seem less overwhelming once they’re written out. Go ahead and download it, it’s free.

I hear from moms all the time about their goals. One big thing that comes up is they don’t know where to even begin. I figured I’d share what helps me. Hoping it helps someone else make some progress.

Let me know what stops or helps you make progress on goals/dreams?

P.S. Speaking of progress, I’d love to get your 3 cents as I work to make this space even better! Click here to take the quickest survey ever and be entered into a giveaway for the gift card of your choice (Target, Amazon, Starbucks)! Yup, it’s that easy.


76 comments on “What do you want? Really.”

  1. I want a lot of things, but then I always think to myself that it can wait because the kids need something.

  2. What a great post. I need to set some new goals. Now that my son is grown it is time to think about me a little more.

  3. You are right! We have to keep our dreams and goals alive even as we care and cater to our loved ones. I still pursue my interests and encourage my kids to do same.

  4. For years i have been in a rut working the same job and doing the same things every day. A month ago i was told my position was being eliminated. That was the kick in the pants i needed to get myself going. I am going to use this opportunity to follow my dreams.

  5. Well what stop me is just no support. I am home with the kids because childcare is too expensive for two children. One day the kids will be old enough to take care of themselves and I’ll have a little more freedom. But I have to look at my life and realize I wanted this. I wanted to be the stay at home mom with my kids…I got it. I now need to find ways to enjoy it while I can.
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  6. Thanks for sharing this blog. I think it is so important that we identify what our goals and dreams outside of both our kids and spouses… It doesn’t mean we don’t value our family… We are just adding to it.

  7. It’s amazing how much your dreams can change over the years. Not always, I’m sure, but sometimes. My kids changed mine, but I’m not upset in the least! 🙂

  8. I have taken several different roads in my lifetime. It might not have been what I imagined it to be. However, I have been blessed with the path that I did take. I have achieved goals that people probably would have thought were impossible. It took hard work and dedication to do what was best for me and my family. Now I do freelance because of my medical issues. I’m thankful for that.
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  9. I’m at the point where I’m trying to figure out what I really want now. I’ve been doing what others expect from me for too long and it made me unhappy. Thank you for sharing this. It’s really encouraging.
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  10. great post ! it helps me to motivating pursue what am i doing to work this work was very inspiring . thank you for making me inspired i really love your post

  11. I love that your focusing on how our wants and needs change in stages in our life. I’m in the content stage. My cars are paid for and I’m not wanting to buy another. My van is 15 years old and runs great. I hae other plans for that $ like travelling.
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  12. My dad gave me one piece of advice that I still practice today. He said that if something is bothering me, or if there is something that I really want, get a piece of paper and write it down in big bold letters at the top of the page. Then divide the paper into two columns. Label it “pros” and “cons” Weigh it out. Just like goal setting. Is it really a need or is it just a want? Go ahead and weigh it out.
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  13. Yes, becoming a parent can definitely put certain goals on the back burner. Becoming a single mom can make things seem even more unattainable. Passion & determination is key.

  14. I was very specific when I was younger too when it came to where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I had 4 kids and am now single geeze this was definatly not in my plans.What helped me get to my dream career as a blogger has to be the family support I had through the years and motivation qoutes. Also my own willpower to be the best which is deep within me but rarely likes to show face because it’s a bit aggressive you could say lol.
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  15. This is a great post! I am constantly trying to evaluate what I really want and it typically comes down to pretty basic things. Thanks for this!

  16. Your posts are always so inspirational and always get me thinking. It is interesting to look at things from this new point of view.

  17. I use to change what I needed all the time… The I woke up one day and realized that I should be chasing the things I want in life and what truly makes me happy. Life has been better ever since 🙂

  18. This is a great post and topic. I think it is awesome that you are sharing with others what works for you. I do believe things seem less over whelming when you write them down. Thanks so much for sharing.

  19. I love this – ‘but what did I want for myself”… great question.
    I’m testing my goal achievement with baby steps. Not overwhelming myself then abandoning it because the chunks are too big and seemingly unachievable. Makes you realise how many pieces of the pie our life becomes!

  20. This is such a good and inspiring read. I’m sure we all have our goals and what’s important is how we work our way towards them. Sometimes, the road is difficult but I keep myself motivated. I think of the finish line and that keeps me going. Sometimes I get side tracked but nevertheless I always come back – especially if it’s about things that I want for myself.
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  21. This is a wonderful reminder to take time for ourselves as mothers. We put so much of us into our marriage and children we tend to forget us. I’ve wanted to write and publish a novel since I was in elementary school. I tossed that dream aside when I went to business school, became an accountant, quit that went to nutrition school, became a nutritionist, quit that became a mother. I finally now feel like I’m ready to get back to my roots and remember my passions. This article is great motivation to push forward.

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